You're Asian, you must be smart, right?

I've just finished reading After the Quake by Haruki Murakami. On a whim, I decided to try and find The Wind-up Bird Chronicle in the library, but apparently the computer didn't tell me it was checked out. The only other book of his they had that I hadn't read yet was this slim, black, hardcover volume that had some weird splotches on the otherwise solid black cover. I checked it out that day and finished it the next.

Before I even finished reading the thin book of short stories, I knew I would have to re-read it. There was subtlety in some of the stories that my otherwise distracted mind couldn't quite tease out; meaning behind the fantastic pictures and tales that Murakami paints onto an otherwise bleak background of concrete towers, snaking locomotives and smoky night skies.

Mark joked that I might be a Japanophile the other day. Being accused of such doesn't necessarily bother me, but sometimes I do wonder that about myself. I listen to a lot of Japanese music, and one of my favorite authors as of late has been Japanese as well. I'm currently watching a Japanese drama, and I do indeed hope to go to Japan again in the near future. I am more interested in Japanese culture and Japan than the typical college student, and a goal I hope to achieve in the near future is to become fluent in Japanese.

Japanophile though? I don't think the statement is fair. I want to say something along the lines of "Obsession is a word that lazy people use to describe the dedicated", but that's probably not too fair either. I'd like to think that even talking about this implies that I've yet to fall into the abyss of blind obsession with another culture, but who really knows. In any case, a joking comment from a friend hardly warrants a wordy defence, though it still is cause to think about the kernel of truth behind the humor.

After the Quake is a collection of slightly long-ish short stories that deal with the reactions of various people to "the Great Hanshin earthquake", referred to simply as "the Kobe earthquake" within the stories. As fuzzy-minded as I was during the reading, I failed to think much about the related themes of each of the five stories and instead simply read them and allowed myself to view the world on their terms.

Some might say that that's really the whole point of reading, but yet I still find that analyzing the author's intent and thoughts through reading the story is essential to understanding what it is about the story that reaches out to you, the reader. Maybe too many English classes have destroyed my ability to simply read a book without thinking of these things.

If someone were to ask me what impression the stories left on me, I'd have to say that they made me sad, yet hopeful. Murakami stories are rife with people who've made poor choices or are in terrible situations and yet continue on. They live "lives of quiet desperation", wishing for happiness of some sort and never really being able to reach it. I suppose it's the humanity of the characters that appeals to me; I empathize with them strongly, and can imagine my own thoughts in a similar situation. Their plight is horrific, and yet life WILL go on. There would be no hope without regrets I suppose.

And so, After the Quake deals with hope, delusion, courage, God, sex and even a bit about earthquakes. As readers, we begin to read the book with thoughts about the earthquake in mind. It killed thousands and caused something around a hundred billion dollars in damage, the "costliest natural disaster to befall any one country" says the Guinness Book of World Records. However, much as with 9/11 here, there are many who say they are largely unaffected by the quake.

Each of the protagonists is asked whether they had any relatives in the Kobe area; whether the quake has personally affected them in some way and in turn each of them responds "not really". In some sense, After the Quake posits that no life can be unchanged by such a catastrophe, such a tragic loss of lives. No matter how their minds rationalize it, the protagonists are desperately trying to cope with the events of the earthquake. Murakami delves into the quiet lives of these mostly average folk and for just one moment makes you feel like people might be more human than you might give them credit for.

A couple of pictures from my 21st.



From left to right, ehhh.., it doesn't really matter. Thanks goes to the poor lady whom we asked to take the pictures for us. God knows the only person capable of playing with electronics at that point was Misheru and she ain't the best with electronics.





Continuing the tradition of making weird faces and poses at the camera, this was taken just after Sophia's. We went to Dennis' immediately after this.



As for the more recent past..., Sean absolutely destroyed a rabbit going onto the onramp the other day. We didn't go take a look or anything, but considering the speed at which Sean was going, there was little to no chance of the bugger having survived it. I joke around about curbing the growth of the rabbit and duck population on campus, but actually killing a rabbit was somewhat traumatic. Reminds me of the time Diana and I encountered a lady spazzing about a rabbit she probably hit on the road and did not kill. Anyway, that was a slight damper on the meal at In n Out.

Now, Dollar Pint Night at Sudwerks just a few days ago was fun. My first time since my birthday that I've gone to a place that checked my ID! I had just four dollars, but I borrowed another dollar from Mark so I could pay the cover and get two beers. Looked like I was going to have to play DD anyhow, so anymore beer would not have been such a great idea I think. Ended up meeting a lot of random folk including a philosophy TA of mine from Spring quarter, classmates from sophomore year and such. The night ended fairly early since Paul, the guy whose car I was driving home, was feeling done just a bit around midnight. So we grabbed Mark, who lives with Paul, and walked out. Paul ended up denting the hood of his car when he punched it out of frustration. At that point I grabbed the keys and we went on our way.

The drive home was short, and we talked a bit about the fairer kind and senior year and our ever-nearing graduation. Not that any of us really WANTED to talk about it, but inevitably, conversation drifts towards that end in moments of silence. Naturally, as we were talking, my attention was on the road but at the same time not entirely on the road. One enters that mode of auto-pilot where the body takes over and directs the car to stay in the lines, away from other cars, and things like that. I suppose one might say that something equivalent to "muscle memory" is taking control of the car and our subconscious occupies itself with that while our higher order thoughts tend to more interesting things.

However, the subconscious is not so good at dealing with unexpected things, and as such when a speedy ball of white fur dashes in front of the vehicle, the brain tends to stutter, spit all over itself, and eventually the moment passes and one realizes the brain has failed to act. Thus, the second rabbit in four days was slaughtered with my being witness to its passing.

Sean has suggested that he and I start a club. I say that Avelino is gonna have to work hard if he expects to keep the trend up. I'm not sure if a bike is enough to take a rabbit out in one go.

What to say.

Well, first off, a small recap of recent events.

My finals went fine, I think. The first took maybe an hour, as well as the second. In some sense I'm kinda sad I'm done. I liked the professor and my classmates and the material was quite interesting at times. Now that I'm done, I get to go back to the math and mechanics of EE projects.

The plans for my birthday were small and relaxed: a dinner with a few friends at Sushi Nobu and a going-away potluck for a friend of mine. As it turned out, another friend of mine was in town that night and her and Sean were hitting the bars. I figured since it was my 21st, I might as well go.

It's a strange thing turning 21. It's one of the last ages that has any meaning in some sense. The next one will be 25 for renting cars, and then I can look forward to 65 for my senior discounts. A depressing thought altogether.

Anyhow, we started off in the G Street Pub where we unexpectedly ran into Ave's sister. We hung around there until Ed met up with us, at which point we went to Bernardo's. Apparently, you're not allowed to relax and have a few beers on your 21st, so I was bought a WikiWackyWoo (sp?). From there we went to Sophia's and hung around for a while until I "decided" we should leave. We then spent some time at another friend's place for yet another friend's going away party. Sadly, I crashed out pretty quickly after arriving, and so I didn't get to talk to the leaving friend too much. There's always e-mail I suppose.

The following day I tutored. I was, luckily, not too hungover since I evacuated most of the alcohol onto some plants, but it was hard to eat much of anything that day. I think threw up a little in my mouth when I tried to eat too much.



As a sidenote, I'll put up some pics from the birthday in the near future. I still need to get a photo editing program on this new Win2k install.

Now, Saturday, I went to SF. Had some dinner at "Nirvana" near Castro. The food wasn't bad, but I can't say I thought it was particularly awesome. We then went to Ann's place and hung around for a while. It was nice being around friends and such, as it always is. The party was not nearly the drunk-fest I anticipated it to be, but I think that was at least partially a result of a few people still recovering from Thursday's activities. All the same, fun was had, and eventually we went to sleep. At least, I tried going to sleep while Ave and Sean sat around saying "You shouldn't'a done that, he's just a boy" for two hours. Christ.

The next day saw everyone giving fond farewells as we slowly drifted out of Ann's apartment. Diana and I went off to go to Stern Grove Festival, at least, that's where we intended to go. We ended up getting semi-lost along the way due to a misunderstanding about 19th STREET and 19th AVENUE. Luckily our misunderstanding still put us in the right part of SF, so it only took us a phone call and fifteen minutes to get where we needed to be.

I'd never been to Stern Grove before, and was kinda in awe of it at first. It reminded me a lot of visiting Yoyogi park; a verdant sea of calm and nature surrounded by manmade sharp corners and noise. We went in, found some friends, and sat down and had ourselves a good ol' time. I ended up buying some mediocre garlic fries and a piss-poor quesadilla with salsa for way too much cash. I hope some of those proceeds go to the festival 'cause the food sure didn't deserve it.

I think I might consider people-watching a hobby of mine. Watching what other people do and how they interact with one another is an interesting way of observing humanity in general. You can learn a surprising amount of information about a person just by seeing how they carry themselves and treat others in public.
I remember once when a friend was giving me a ride to school during HS. As we pulled into the parking lot, I saw a classmate of mine holding a notebook and pencil sitting on some thing or another right next to the parking lot entrance such that he could look into the passenger side of each car as it went by. He leaned forward and looked me right in the eye and I looked him straight back as we went into the parking lot. Later I asked him what he was doing there, and he replied simply, "Eh.., it's just how I get my kicks". I still don't quite get what he was doing that day.

Anyway, as the music started, people up front got up and danced, there was an older lady in purple who danced as she sat on her bench, there were others who camped out up in the trees to watch the goings-on, families ate lunches on the picnic benches, friends gathered on picnic blankets and cracked some beers. All sorts of interesting folk came to check out the festival. There was one person who caught my eye though; a single girl wearing all white with a large-ish bag who was sitting all by herself towards the back of the arena. She reminded me of time spent in Japan on my own, wandering around parks and doing a bit of people-watching. I would walk around the city surrounded by people and an intense loneliness; all these people around me were going somewhere, had somewhere to be, friends to see, and I hardly had a place to sleep for the night. She was sitting all alone in a puffy white jacket to beat the chill; she stood out against the gray skies and the muted colors of the scene.


I recall wandering around the North side of Ikebukuro one evening. I'd semi-tailed one person through the crowd just for the hell of it and I ended up alongside a small-ish park in the city. I saw couples being together, vagrants sleeping, salarymen smoking, and slices of many walks of life in general just relaxing in the park. I sat down to take a break and the surroundings. And then, it stank. It just reeked of sweat, grime, trash, and god knows what else. I looked around and saw a young vagrant, probably around my age.
He had a twisted leg and walked with a painful looking shuffle. He looked at me for a moment before shuffling over to the smoke tray maybe a few meters away from me and awkwardly pulled out a packet with just one cigarette and a lighter.
I looked at him and thoughts ran through my mind; I felt pity for this poor soul and yet I lamented of loneliness. I would probably never have it as bad as this kid, and I felt horrid for even thinking such a thing. I fished around in my pocket for a 500yen piece and gave it to him before walking off. He said "arigatou gozaimasu" as I walked away, but I can't say I felt much better as I made the long walk to wherever I could find a bed that night.


I wanted to say hi to the girl. Some of the more enjoyable times I had in Japan were spent with Asami, a friend I might through inexplicable chance at Ikebukuro West Gate Park. I wanted to talk with her, but I can't really say I know what I wanted to talk about. I guess I wanted to empathize in some sense, to say that I knew what it was like to feel so isolated despite being surrounded by an endless sea of people. Not that saying anything along those lines would have really done more than scare the crap out of her. Proper channels would have to be cleared first, we would need to get to know eachother, spend some time together, get comfortable with eachother, and then, just maybe, it would become appropriate to discuss such a thing.

I suppose it was all quite impulsive and immature. We grow old, we learn etiquette, manners, tact, and simply blurting things out without proper introduction and proximity goes against much of that. I could say more but I guess this has gotten far too livejournal-y as is. Long story short, she pulled out a Japanese/Chinese guide (Couldn't see the front cover well enough to see if there was any hiragana/katakana) to SF and wandered off.

The rest of the night was spent watching 24, eating Zachary's Pizza (which was quite good), playing with the 3-dimensional version of those flat pieces you put together to make various shapes, watching Deep Impact, and finally going home. I now have about a month and a half before school starts, so I suppose I ought to make the most of it.

I am finishing up the second or so re-installing of Win2k to this box in the last week. The first re-install was a result of a failing hard drive. It worked fabulously up until one of the system files got corrupted. No big deal though, I just went into command prompt and replaced that file with a backup. I backed up all the files in that folder in the process to make sure things would be alright. So I start the computer back up again and it turns out I tossed the wrong file in there, so I shut down, and go back to the command prompt to replace the file with the correct one. As it turns out, Windows had decided to erase all files I had put into that folder.., so it wiped out the original files and the backup files. Needless to say, I was slightly annoyed. In any case, this should be the last time I have to do this, so after this I should be golden. If it is not the case that the situation has turned gold after this installation, then I might just get off my lazy ass and get Debian on this thing.

Which reminds me, I still need to be buying a motherboard to replace my brother's old one. We were cautious when it started smelling funny. After opening up the computer and putting a new power supply, we booted it up and figured it was dead when it started pouring oily, black smoke from one of the capacitors. That smell didn't go away for a week they say.

It is indeed finals week of the first Summer session. As it turns out, the day of both my finals is also my 21st birthday, yay for me. I think there's also a free sake promotion at a local sushi joint that day as well, so the post-finals night might be fun. We will see.

So, Sean has bought "Everyone Loves Katamari Damashii" ("Minna Daisuki Katamari Damashii"). This game is the sequel to the game called "Katamari Damashii", maybe you have heard of this. For those uninformed ones, I will give a brief explanation of the original game : you are the Prince of the Universe and your father, the King of the Universe, got hugely drunk one night and destroyed all the stars so it is your job to roll around balls of varying sizes and immense stickiness of some sort (one at a time) and gather up things on the world to turn these balls into big balls that can replace the stars.

This game was fun. The sequel is based around the same idea, but instead of rolling up humanity and their junk to turn them into stars at the bequest of your father, you are instead rolling up them and their crap at their request and sometimes turning that crap into stars.

Now, the gameplay itself is about half my love of the game called "Katamari Damashii". This is not to say the game is bad (it is in fact quite good), but instead is a tribute to my love of the soundtrack of the game. There are three songs that immediately stand out in my mind as great songs on the soundtrack of KD, and there are definitely others I enjoyed a lot.

I was lucky enough to receive the Minna Daisuki soundtrack from Sean as my birthday present. Whereas on the original KD soundtrack there were three or so songs that immediately came to mind as favorites, on the Minna Daisuki soundtrack, there are three to five songs that come to mind as songs I don't like particularly much. There isn't much to say about the other songs except that THEY HAVE INVADED MY MIND.

The MD soundtrack has a more diverse range of musical styles, including a blues-y track or two, a classical track, and the styles of music one would generally associate with the original game. The short of it is that I've been listening to the soundtrack for God knows how long and only just now have I begun to think, "maybe I should listen to something else now".

Once while I was wandering Ikebukuro (I think) with Tim towards the end of my trip in Japan, we dropped by a record store to browse. I looked to see if they had any Mr.Children or L'Arc~ec~Ciel stuff I might want, and Tim wandered around pointing out a few of the bands that he'd listened to. He pointed out a CD by the group "Sambo Master" and recommended it to me. He'd mentioned them before, that the lead guy in the group was a middle-aged violinist/violaist who one day decided to start a rock group. He picked up a guitar, put it to his shoulder and plucked it up the charts.

"So how do they sound?" I asked Tim.

"If you like Mr.Children, you will definitely dig Sambo Master" was his reply.
I picked up the CD and considered buying it, but I hadn't the cash at the time, so I told myself that I would buy it at a later date. Sadly enough my time ran out and I forgot to grab the CD and I returned to the states without my bounty. Now, nearly a year later I am reminded of this lost CD by the sudden onset of my birthday. Maybe this means something.

Anyhow, I have finals to prepare for. I'm probably just going to post this and then sit around and daydream some more more likely than not. As the time of graduation comes closer and closer, I seem less and less inclined to do work towards it. Maybe this also means something.