You're Asian, you must be smart, right?

So I took an Upper Divison English Composition Examination on the 23rd of April and I swear it was probably one of the most incoherent essays I've written in a while. The article was one by some freelance writer entitled something I don't really remember. Something along the lines of "Could I have some quiet please?" or some crap like that. The article was about how music had infiltrated the everyday life of people to the extent that supposing you simply wanted silence while swimming, shopping, working out, you would be subject to music anyway. He gave examples of grocery stores, gymnasiums, and some public pool or another which had music pumped into the pool through underwater speakers.

The article had a valid point and I agreed with it to some extent, though ultimately the problem was that there was no way to enforce some sort of "please quiet down" ordinance. The prompt asked, "Has the author of this article convinced of his view at all? Why or why not and to what extent? Should the freedom to play music stop at another person's ears?" Why I remember that so well is quite obvious: it's a really freaking stupid essay topic. I sat there reading it wondering why they would have me write about something so inane. They weren't asking for views on both sides and whether the law had a right to interfere, they weren't asking for some sort of careful analysis of the article and its nuances, they were asking me a question that any fucking grade schooler would know the answer to.

I don't remember actually having a homework assignment on this, but I'm sure some kid somewhere got a worksheet when his class learned about the Bill of Rights. On that worksheet is a list of activities, such as, "Writing a story", "kicking a dog", "not voting", "protesting against a war", "threatening the president", "arranging a boycott", "arranging a sit-in", "homosexual conduct", "masturbation", "reading a book about Hitler". The child would then be asked to list what actions were protected under the Bill of Rights, and maybe even a short blurb about which article it fell under. The sad thing is, most of the things I wrote above would take more thought than "listening to music a little too loud".

That being the case, I had really no clue what to write for my essay. I tried writing an outline, but my brain just stopped working after reading the topic, and in retrospect my paper was really wishy-washy and had no point. I wrote about some crap and agreeing with the author, but feeling it was unenforceable and ultimately unconstitutional and maybe I mentioned something about freedom and God knows what else. I'm not sure if it was more bullshit, doublespeak, or the verbal equivalent of plugging my ears and going, "lalalala, I can't hear what you're saying".

Turns out that's what they wanted I guess. So yeah, I passed, no more upper div English for me, but man I wish I could have my essay back. Or at least the essay prompt. Both were really bad.

# posted by Yann : 00:45